This past week has been really, really busy!!

Monday – Monday brought around one of my favourite working days of the year, the annual P&R Electrical Golf Day. It’s a huuuge, super fun day, where all the girls I work with and I get together on a golf course and drive around in buggies providing beers and boobs to 200+ electricians. I spent the day drinking Jacks & Coke out of Gatorade bottles, and selling signed copies of my Penthouse magazines to all the guys playing golf. After failing to eat breakfast or lunch and being in the sun all day, I was extremely drunk by the time the golfing wrapped up and during the wet t-shirt competition I stripped nude and apparently threw my favourite Victoria’s Secret bikini into the crowd. The thought of some random dude having my bikini bottoms kinda creeps me out, but oh well, serves me right for drinking too much and being an idiot!!

Tuesday - On Tuesday I did what was my first proper photo shoot in months! I’ve been avoiding the whole modelling thing because of the body image crisis I’ve been going through, but I decided to suck it up and took part in an amazing four person Rockabilly themed shoot in a cute little vintage store in Brompton. The photographer was the lovely Miss Julia Thomas, hair and makeup was done by Kristy Bassett, and my fellow models were Gemma Vendetta, Jaih and Joel. We all looked smoking hot! I wore a few outfits from my favourite local label, Moxie Minx! Ladies, make sure you check out the Moxie Minx website if you want some gorgeous vintage inspired frocks. Photos will be coming soon

Wednesday – Another day, another photo shoot! This time I shot with Niccy Starlet and had my hair and makeup done by Ali Stewart, who were both gorgeous and lots of fun to work with. Wednesday’s theme was a creepy Christmas shoot, which I guess kinda suits me because I’m a total scrooge haha. I’m the kind of person who refuses to even put a tree up because a) I don’t see the point, and b) it’s just mess to clean up later. Again, I’ll have the pics coming soon, but here’s a preview of my makeup! Creepy, right?

Thursday – Now Thursday was a VERY exciting day… because after weeks and weeks of waiting for it, I finally got my brand spanking new car! I am seriously in love with it. At first I was terrified of it because it’s sooo big compared to my old car, I felt like I was taking up half the road in it haha. But I feel more confident about it now and I love it!

Friday - Most of Friday was boring, cos I had to work, but on Friday night I had another awesome pole dance class. I am getting so good at it and it feels very empowering, like, “If I can hang upside down on a pole with just one leg, I can do anything!!” I am really excited for December 11, because that night we’re going to have a costume party and our instructor is getting a photographer in to get some hot pics of all our awesome new moves. I can’t wait!

Anyway, here’s a couple of pics of me last night. That’s all I have to say for now. Buh bye!

xox

Today I watched a really good documentary on the Lifestyle channel called, “Addicted to fake boobs.”

In part of the documentary they interviewed a lot of men about whether they prefer real to fake, and the result was unanimous – they all preferred real boobs. The general dislike for breast implants is something I’ve never understood, personally I think boob jobs are fantastic when done properly. I guess it’s because a majority of the fake boobs that you see look absolutely ridiculous, that causes much of the anti-implants sentiment.

I’ve been considering getting fake boobs for probably about six years now. I’ve met with multiple surgeons, spent hours doing the research, I’ve even actually booked the surgery on two separate occasions but obviously backed out both times. My most recent attempt was supposed to be on March 25th of this year, with a local surgeon whose work I really loved, but again I listened to the countless people bombarding me with cries of, “No, don’t do it!” and never went through with it.

When it came to boobs, I wasn’t exactly unfortunate or anything. Depending on the state of the rest of my body, I fluctuate anywhere from a large B to a full D and they’re a nice shape. My boobs are something I get complimented on a lot. When I went for my surgery consultations every surgeon bar one told me that they don’t know why I want fake boobs because I already have great ones, and the only surgeon who didn’t say that was the one who was encouraging me to put in implants so big I’d be somewhere around a G cup. He also pointed out a slight asymmetry in my boobs, something that funnily enough I’d never even noticed prior to that but now seems blindingly obvious to me every time I look at them.

I think the thing I hate is that my boobs are the first place I lose and gain weight from. If I pack on a bit of weight and am in the shape I’m in now, I’m rocking some incredible natural D’s. Unfortunately, when I get down to my happy weight I can drop as small as a full B cup and they seem to lose some of their perkiness (see my Penthouse pics for an example). When I’m happy with my boobs, I hate the rest of my body, and when I’m happy with the rest of my body I get really self-conscious about my boobs. Realistically I spend a lot more time in the former state, but I have always felt that my driving force behind wanting fake boobs is so I can still have a decent sized chest and be super skinny.

Even if I did go ahead with it, I would only want small implants. I don’t wanna be one of those girls who walks down the street and people go, “Jesus fucking christ look at the size of her knockers.” I have enough breast tissue to safely go over the muscle which is a much less invasive surgery than going under, something that most surgeons will say is only necessary if you’re really flat chested. I would need to get over my fear of general anaesthetic too, because I’m a silly hypochondriac I have this stupid idea in my head that I will die.

I dunno. Basically everyone I know says they love my boobs and tells me not to do it. Whenever I mention it anywhere online I get thousands of replies telling me not to do it. But if I do it, I’ll do it for me and not for anyone else.

I’m not gonna give it too much thought for now. I’ve been sticking to this new exercise and diet regime and I really really want to lose this weight because I don’t feel comfortable being naked in front of people at the moment and I’ve taken a break from shooting til I feel like less of a fat lard. If and when I get skinny again, I’ll reevaluate my boobs and maybe make a decision then.

What do you think of fake boobs?

I got a kitten today

We recused him from the Animal Welfare League adoption shelter, I think I am going to call him Freddie Mercury.

I’m really happy, because I’d really been missing having a cat. My beautiful little boy Louis Kuitton disappeared from my parents’ house in the country while I was away in LA and never came back, and I miss him more than words can say. He was pretty much my best friend.

My new little boy makes me very happy though, he is so friendly and has so much personality.

Kittens are effing awesome