March 2010 Archives
Mar29

Football Fever

Posted at 12:53 PM • 7 Comments

Summer is over, and even though I don’t love the rain and the cold weather, there is one thing I love about the cooler months – football. Now, that’s Aussie Rules football… NOT soccer, or rugby, or any other silly game! I’ve been a football fan for as long as I can remember, as a little girl I loved going to watch and cheer for my dad every weekend when he played for our local team. Despite both my mum and dad being passionate supporters of the Carlton Blues, I chose the North Melbourne Kangaroos as my team when I was very young and have proudly worn the royal blue and white ever since.

Ashlee Adams

I went to AAMI Stadium to watch them play yesterday, and even though we didn’t get a win we put up a good fight and I had an absolutely fantastic day. The post-game members’ function was great and I got to meet two players – Jack Ziebell and Scott McMahon. I was pretty drunk by that stage and proposed to Ziebell while he was on stage answering questions hahaha.

ashlee adams

Anyway, I’m excited for the rest of the 2010 season. I hope I can make it to a few more games, and am planning on going to Melbourne at some stage so I can watch my boys at a home game!

Life is good. Five weeks til new boobies!

Mar22

6 weeks to go

Posted at 12:06 PM • 31 Comments

Tomorrow marks six weeks til I get fake boobs.

I think I am finally starting to feel more excited than I am nervous. There’s still three major things at this stage that are making me worry, and they are…

1. What if they turn out bad and I have fucked up boobs for the rest of my life?

2. What if I am allergic to the general anaesthetic and I die?

3. To what extent are my parents going to absolutely lose their fucking shit if/when they find out?

I’m trying to remind myself that I am paying a lot of money to go to an amazing surgeon, I am not trying to go too big, and that I am in capable hands so hopefully the first one is pretty unlikely. Unless, of course, I get capsular contracture, but apparently that’s easy enough to fix if you catch it early. The second one is just me being a paranoid freak, and again, I am paying a lot of money for a professional anaesthetist to supervise my entire surgery so I guess I’m probably not going to die.

The third one shouldn’t be bothering me so much, but it is. Pretty much all my decisions over the last seven years have disappointed my parents hahah, but this one could really throw them over the edge. My dad didn’t speak to me for like a month when I got my tongue pierced cos he was so disgusted, I hate to think how strongly he’d react to fake boobs. Mum wouldn’t be happy about it, but I think she’d be more pissed at me for spending so much money on boobs when I’m already paying off an $18,000 car loan (she obviously doesn’t know how much money I earn). I am going to try to hide it from them – for years I have always worn nothing but heavily padded, push-up bras so I think most people think my boobs are much bigger than they actually are anyway, and since I’m not getting HUGE implants I figure it won’t look much different to when I wear my padded bras with silicone inserts haha. If they do find out I imagine it’ll be a repeat of my, “I’m going to be on the cover of Penthouse” announcement, which will just mean dealing with mum yelling at me over the phone a lot and dad not speaking to me for three months. But like I’ve said to them in the past, I am going to do what I want with my life, and they can either accept me for who I am or not have me in their lives because I am not going to change to be who they want me to be.

Anyway, time to go visit the surgeon’s office to make another payment, I’m over halfway now! 6 weeks to go, woohoooo!!!!

Mar15

Extreme Nudity

Posted at 5:46 PM • 4 Comments

Do you ever sit down and think to yourself, “I wonder, exactly how many people in this world have seen me naked?” I suppose if you haven’t spent the last seven years of your life removing your clothing in front of strangers professionally, chances are you probably haven’t.

The number would have to be in the hundreds of thousands. Although these days I only really strip at private parties on Saturday nights, I spent many years working five nights a week in busy strip clubs that would regularly be visited by hundreds of patrons in a single night. At the Crazy Horse, for example, I would work four to five nights a week and during the course of a night I would perform at least three full nude strip shows on stage. So that’s already hundreds of guys seeing me nude each night, without even counting lap dances and table dances.

And then, of course, there’s all the nude modelling I’ve done. Between the naked photos of me that are all over the internet, and magazine spreads such as Penthouse, the number of people who have seen me naked in photo form would be unimaginable. Throw in a few major events like featuring at Sexpo where I performed for literally 1000+ people and appearing in a Miss Nude Australia documentary that got shown internationally, etc etc… I honestly think it could even be possible that a million people have seen me naked.

It’s pretty crazy to think about it like that. I wish there was some way for me to find out the exact number. Not that it really matters, but it’d be cool to know just for curiosity’s sake :)

Anyway, to break up all the text I’ve been posting on here lately, here’s a pic of my ass in denim shorts. Hoorah!

Photo 28

Love, Ashlee Adams (the serial naked chick)

Mar12

Why I suck at strip clubs.

Posted at 1:45 PM • 18 Comments

Every six months or so, I decide to work in a strip club for a week. Every time I think, ” This time I will hustle and I will make money! This time will be different!” … But it never is.

I had a think about it in the cab on the way home from work early this morning, and I think there are four core things that attribute to my general inability to have a lucrative night in a strip club.

1. I genuinely enjoy conversing with people. Last night, I made sure I was on my feet, walking around and talking to guys all night but I still left with very little cash. I think one of my main problems is that I get so immersed in conversation that I end up feeling awkward asking someone to see me naked after we’ve been chatting for half an hour. It’s funny, because I had so many guys tell me last night that I was the friendliest and most genuine girl they’d spoken to all night, that the other girls were so fake and money hungry. Despite that, they never said they wanted a lap dance from me, and I never asked… which brings me to my second problem.

2. I am not comfortable with asking people for money. I’m someone who has had to stop lending money to people entirely, because I felt so uncomfortable asking people to pay it back… even when large sums of money are owed to me I feel like a total asshole if I ask for it. I can stand there and chat to groups of guys for hours and make them laugh and have fun, but when it comes to uttering the words, “Would you like to have a lap dance?” I totally freeze. I do sometimes wonder if most guys just assume I don’t even do lap dances, since I rarely (if ever) offer them, while most of the other girls will aggressively push for it within 30 seconds of saying hello. The only time I ever sell dances is when someone approaches me and asks for one… and unfortunately when you’re just one in a sea of hot, semi-naked girls, that doesn’t happen all too often.

3. I have a soul. Over the years I have watched girls make huge sums of money by finding a guy too drunk to make rational decisions and milking his credit card for every cent he has. I am just not okay with that. I would feel really terrible about myself if I took advantage of a drunk guy and was the reason he couldn’t make his mortgage payment the next week, but apparently a lot of girls don’t care and will use their evil stripper powers to suck him dry.

4. I am intimidated by other women. Thin, attractive women especially. One of my major downfalls is that I can’t get past the attitude of, “There’s so many hot girls here to choose from, why would anyone want a dance from me?”

I suppose it all comes down to the fact that I just ain’t a hustler. I’m a nice, fun, happy girl but I’m not a bullshit artist, I’m not an actor, I’m not gonna kiss your ass in an obvious attempt to take every last cent from your wallet, and I don’t have the confidence to talk you into spending your money on me. Until I can change that, I will just have to resign myself to the fact that while other girls will walk away with thousands at the end of the night, my stripper purse will contain just a lowly $2oo.

At least I only do it twice a year, right?!

Mar9

The Candy Kittens

Posted at 12:21 PM • 6 Comments

The weekend just passed was probably the most hectic one I’ve had for a very long time. I worked Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday afternoon and night, and Monday morning… that’s a whole lot of stripping!

Saturday night saw the debut of my brand new lesbian duo act, The Candy Kittens, and I’ve gotta say we did a really great job. My partner in crime is the very sexy Hunter Moore, and I’m looking forward to putting a lot of effort into turning us into money making machines. I’m already working on a design for posters that we will sell at our shows and I’m even considering making a cute little website.

Here we are at one of our shows on Saturday night. I think we look great together :)

Ashlee Adams and Hunter Moore, the Candy Kittens

Sometimes I think I am really lucky to have a job that I enjoy so much. Lately I’ve been having so much fun performing that it’s barely even felt like work. This weekend I danced for a guy wearing nothing but a fluorescent yellow, mesh g-string bikini, and had a guy lick the heels and soles of my stripper boots because he actually wanted to. I love that I laugh so much at work.

Going blonde has been the best confidence booster in the world… not to mention the best income booster EVER! My workload has literally tripled since changing my hair colour. I am now pretty certain I will be able to save up for my boob job in time and have enough money left over to not have to stress at all during my month off, and it feels like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Eight weeks today til new boobies. Hooray :)

xo

Mar3

Gettin’ Nekkid

Posted at 5:57 PM • One Comment

Hey guys!

For those of you who are making the trip to Adelaide for the Clipsal 500, I am pleased to announce that I will be working at Adelaide’s most upmarket gentlemen’s club, The Palace, for four nights over the week. My schedule is as follows…

Wednesday March 10 – 9pm-5am

Thursday March 11 – 9pm-5am

Friday March 12 – 5pm-1am

Sunday March 14 - 9pm-5am

The Palace is located at 111 Hindley Street, Adelaide. Please note that they do adhere to a dress code so try to wear something nice, and if you’ve got tattoos on your arms you’re gonna need to wear a long sleeved shirt to get in!

I’ll be performing on stage and selling signed magazines and posters… and of course, I’ll be available for private lap dances! So if you’re in town, come on in, buy me a drink and say hi!

Hope to see you there :D

Mar2

Nine Weeks

Posted at 4:36 PM • 15 Comments

So today marks exactly nine weeks until I get breast implants. One one hand it seems like it’s still so far away, yet on the other it seems like it will all be upon me in no time at all!

Right now I can’t decide if I’m feeling more excited or more terrified, but one thing I am certain I am feeling is pride in myself. Breast implants are something I have been considering for six years now, but I have backed out of previous arrangements due to my overwhelming phobia of all things medical. Now that I’m at a point where I have committed to this and there really is no backing out, I feel really proud of myself for taking a step towards overcoming something that has been a major fear in my life for as long as I can remember.

No matter how much people try to comfort me, I can not seem to shake my deathly fear of general anaesthetic. I’m not entirely sure what I am scared of, considering I am paying a lot of money to have a highly trained professional anaesthetist overlook my procedure so I’m probably not going to die or anything. Perhaps it is just a fear of the unknown. From what I can gather, it seems to be a pretty common fear.

The thing that really baffles me is that back when I used to party, I was an avid fan of a drug called ketamine, which is the general anaesthetic used by veterinarians to put animals under for surgery. I never had any fears or hesitations whatsoever about railing lines of ketamine that could’ve been mixed with god knows what, but the thought of being anaesthetised by a professional in a controlled situation using a substance made for humans absolutely fucking terrifies me???

I think maybe it’s the idea of having a needle in me that really scares me, because I am and always have been scared of needles. Maybe I should just ask if I can snort the general anaesthetic?! Haha…

Going into this as someone who has never been to hospital, never had surgery and never even had stitches, I feel pretty overwhelmed. In hindsight I feel extremely glad that I decided to go with the more expensive surgeon, because I trust him entirely and I feel safe in his hands. I believe peace of mind is worth the extra $3000.

The countdown to my brand new boobies has begun.

Mar1

Yep… I’m THAT bored.

Posted at 8:28 PM • 3 Comments

A- Available: No. I’m in a wonderful relationship and my boyfriend is a major babe. I’m very happy ;)

B- Best Friend: Sam. Even the universe wants us to be best friends, we have unintentionally lived within two minutes of each other about four times now! We are totally BFF

C- Color Of Your Room: Right now it’s white, but once we get our new bed we are going to paint a red feature wall!

D- Dad’s Name: Peter

E- Easiest Person To Talk To: Kyle/Sam

F- Favorite Food: Pizza. I could quite happily eat pizza for every meal hahah.

G- Gummy Bears Or Worms: Neither. I don’t really like sweets. I enjoy chocolate and ice cream occasionally but I very rarely eat candy.

H- Hometown: Adelaide, South Australia.

I- Instrument: I completely lack any musical ability. I can’t read music and I can’t play any instruments.

J- Job: Professional clothing removal artist. I also do a little bit of freelance website design, and I work in the Risque Entertainment office a couple of days a week.

K- Kids: You know, I honestly, truly believe I will never have children. I am not maternal. I know everyone says I will change my mind when I’m older but I know with every essence of my being that I do not want to give birth to a child. I would be much happier having fifty cats.

L- Longest Car Ride: I’m not sure, I guess from Adelaide to the Gold Coast.

M- Milk Flavor: I don’t really drink milk, unless it’s a protein shake. I like vanilla protein shakes the best, however.

N- Number Of Siblings: I have two younger brothers.

O- One Wish: I wish I could learn to stand up for myself better, and not be such a pussy when it comes to confrontation. I back down far too easily.

P- Phobias: Cancer, car accidents, spiders

Q- Favorite Quote: Punctuation is the difference between, “Helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse,” and “Helping your uncle jack off a horse”

R- Reason To Smile: There are way too many reasons to smile to list them all!

S- Song You Last Heard: Whatever song was playing on Make It Or Break It… I’m watching TV :P

T- Time You Woke Up: 8.30am

U- Unknown Fact About Me: I am actually really, really, really shy.

V- Vegetable: Pumpkin

W- Worst Habits: I bite my lip a lot, and I crack my big toes all the time.

X- X-Rays You’ve Had: I’ve only been x-rayed once, and that was when I had braces put on and had my teeth x-rayed. I’ve never been sick or broken a bone, or done anything that caused me to need to be x-rayed!

Y- Your Favorite Pastime: Xbox! And of course, hanging out with my boyfriend/friends

Z- Zodiac Sign: I am a Leo/Virgo cusp. When I was younger I felt I definitely identified more with the Leo persona, but as I get older I think I have way more Virgo-esque traits.

Mar1

Feeling great :)

Posted at 5:54 PM • 3 Comments

These past few weeks I truly have been feeling amazing. After going through a bit of an unstable patch with my body image around October last year and feeling like I may have been reaching the end of my naked journey, I have turned things around completely and am back with a vengeance!

My stripper mojo is back in full force, and lately I’ve felt like I am performing better than I ever have before. Rather than trying to remember to force myself to smile while dancing because my brain is running wild with thoughts of, “They’re all looking at my stomach and thinking how fat I am,” I have found myself smiling without even thinking about it because I have genuinely been having fun and feeling good. It’s very refreshing. Without wanting to sound too conceited, I really have been doing some great shows the last few weekends!

I feel like I am about to embark on a new chapter of my stripping career. I am very excited for next weekend’s debut of my new duo show, “The Candy Kittens,” with the gorgeous Miss Hunter Moore. I really believe that her and I will make a dynamic team and the earning potential for us will be huge. Not to mention we look totally hot together ;)

Why oh why do I ever go through phases of being too lazy for the gym?! My attitude towards life is so much more positive when I’m working out and eating well. 

Between my new hair, new body, new boobs (in 9 weeks, eeek!) and new attitude, I feel like a brand new person… and I love the new me :)